TIAMAT DRAGONS

[soulping]

[ Suddenly, everyone but the select group you're with disappears from the room. Whoosh. So it looks like you all have to collaborate! And EDEN's effeminate voice sounds a little distressed, chiming in through the TV screen as a question pops up. ]

Some poor people had to turn to the Internet for help! It's awful! You have some good advice, right? Let's help 'em! Just type a reply on the keyboard there.

[ There is also a keyboard on the floor in front of the TV. What? What is technology? ]

Comments

QUESTION 1

[soulping]

How do I take care of my pet potato?

DISCUSS

[soulping]

SUBMIT

[soulping]

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

Pet ... potato?

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

...Like pet cabbage?

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

Why would anybody want a pet vegetable ...??

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

Because we live in a strange time where people decide they want to walk their food instead of eat it?

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

But they're vegetables—they don't have legs!

Unless the question is really asking how to grow more potatoes.

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

There are people. That actually drag their vegetables on a leash though?

I think. I think they're serious. And it'd be a lot more fun going along with that then explaining how to grow a potato.

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

[ ???????????????? ]

[ ????????????????????????????!!!! ]

If you say so. I'd have thought playing video games was more fun, myself.

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

How interesting can you make growing a potato sound?

Video games I could do but that means getting our friend her to let us.

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

We ... We could advise them to put little robot wheels on it, or something.

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

If they're doing that they need to paint a little face on it. Or make a bunch of faces and tape them on to show different moods.

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

Mmmm ... and what about some kind of tail? Most pets have those.

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

The potato will naturally grow a tail eventually?

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

Those things don't count as tails! They're arms and legs.

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

Okay. Then question: Why are we giving them wheels to go around on? Wouldn't that be arms and legs. A lot of them.

[ teasing. ]

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

Why do humans ride bicycles?

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

Because we're too slow to run when a monster is chasing us?

Re: DISCUSS

[clocksandroses]

... Aside from that.

For fun!

Re: DISCUSS

[unrestrained]

Beh. Exercise.


Okay, so we can suggest stabbing it with something to make a tail. But somehow I think this person is too emotionally attached to a potato to do that.

QUESTION 2

[soulping]

Can you lose your virginity if you fall?

STATUS EFFECTS FOR THIS ROUND: Choose one:
- Dizzy, nauseated
- Everything is rainbows
- Sleepy/need a nap

DISCUSS

[soulping]

SUBMIT

[soulping]

QUESTION 3

[soulping]

Is throwing your hair in the garbage safe?

STATUS EFFECTS FOR THIS ROUND: Choose one:
- Weird "buzzing" sound in your head
- Having trouble moving body
- Eyes are watery