Oh. If it means something more to you than it does to the rest of us, then that's likely. If...it's something you'd like to talk about, I wouldn't mind listening, but I don't want to press if you would rather not mention it.
['Would like to talk about' is a bit strong, but.....geez. If he just clams up now, this thing that he's trying to convince himself is nothing would suddenly become something he's keeping from his teammates. He really doesn't wanna go down that road. So, he takes in a breath and lets it out.]
I just. When I got back. And I heard about what I had missed. And everything that had happened to the team and to our patrons...
... [He sighs.] I can't believe I was in my mirror doing nothing while everybody out here had to deal with it.
[glancing down at her hands to give him a moment, not wanting to focus too much on him if it's hard to speak]
...Mm, I can understand that a bit. I wasn't here either. But, it wasn't something you could help, right? It's not like you wanted to be in a mirror all this time.
...I know. And I doubt I could've helped even if I'd been here. I still just. Can't help feeling this way, though. [He runs his hand through his hair.] This whole situation just makes me feel so...powerless.
It's okay. You can't help how you feel--even if you logically know something, that doesn't always mean that your feelings will change. It's...never been a situation that encourages you to think that you can do something. It makes me angry, because I think we can do something if we'd try. No one wants to feel powerless.
I...I still want to do something. I. Want to think we can. I...I believe in this team. In us.
[Breath.] But I don't even know what that is. It's so frustrating. And knowing that thinking about it just gives Nyssa more energy is...even worse. [But weirdly enough, sharing it actually makes him feel a little...better.]
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It's. [He tries to look away.] It's nothing. Just.
She might be referring to me.
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I just. When I got back. And I heard about what I had missed. And everything that had happened to the team and to our patrons...
... [He sighs.] I can't believe I was in my mirror doing nothing while everybody out here had to deal with it.
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...Mm, I can understand that a bit. I wasn't here either. But, it wasn't something you could help, right? It's not like you wanted to be in a mirror all this time.
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[Breath.] But I don't even know what that is. It's so frustrating. And knowing that thinking about it just gives Nyssa more energy is...even worse. [But weirdly enough, sharing it actually makes him feel a little...better.]
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Yeah.
If all of us put our heads together...I'm sure we can come up with something. [He sighs.] Or at least we...can all be frustrated together.
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[He manages a small smile. Sharing this has actually made him feel kinda better, if only a little.]
....thanks, Holly.
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