BARGHEST
[You're wading in a low river, trying to advance as fast as you can--is the apparent setup, anyways. There's a table in the center of the room with a die to roll--and as you do so the world moves around you like some kind of VR deal. Everything looks, smells, and even sounds real… but it can't actually hurt you.]
[A monitor is lit up on the table. It reads: '24 spaces remain.']
[A monitor is lit up on the table. It reads: '24 spaces remain.']

ROUND 1
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[. . .]
[climbs up onto the back of his Typhlosion, who accompanied him into the game]
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[ waves! ]
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[kicks some water off of his shoes, then pauses as he scrutinizes Aoko's uniform]
Wait. You ain't Barghest, are ya?
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The hell—?
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[ hi, I'm that messy-haired guy that hangs out at kitty corner a lot ]
[ except i am wearing cat cream instead of the usual tiamat purple?? ]
It looks like we'll be working together for this one.
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Whoa! It's another-- what are you? Cat. 'Sup, lady.
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DICE ROLL
OBSTACLE: AN INEXPLICABLE WATERFALL THAT FLIES IN THE FACE OF PHYSICS
[You're going across the river, but the current is suddenly pulling you towards a sharp cliff that's appeared right in front of you. You can't see the river past it, but you hear the familiar rushing of water, the crashing of it against the rocks below. Somehow, you're about to go down a waterfall. It seems like even the laws of physics are against you since this is clearly impossible, but--what do you do?]
> Question the validity of this waterfall's existence
> Ride down it in a barrel
> Grab the rocks near the cliff and try to find a safe way down
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo
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RESULT
ROUND 2
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Should've used the barrel. . .
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[ BUT ]
Still, that could've been worse! Let's roll again!
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Yeah, yeah! We ain't outta the game yet. Should I roll again, or does someone else wanna?
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1/2
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ROLL - 3
OBSTACLE: CLOTHING EATING CYBER-PIRHANAS
[There are several other people trying to cross the river around you as you move on. While you push through them, you notice an ominous burbling from the water. Suddenly, one of the NPCs is screaming, covering themselves, and running for the shore. It seems you've waded into a swarm of clothing eating cyber-piranhas! Showing up for your hot date without a pair of pants would probably go over badly--what do you do?]
> Question the validity of this creature's existence
> Embrace your new nudist nature
> Try to fight them off with a convenient stick
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo
Discuss
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ROUND 3
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It's okay! You'll get a chance to use his attacks some other time.
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DICE ROLL
Hey! I got a good one!
OBSTACLE: BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT
[Suddenly a whirlpool happens and sucks you all into the sewer. A giant anthropomorphic alligator appears out of nowhere, and begins singing a song about how if it's going to eat someone, it might as well be you. The entire thing seems like a lot of random, but--what do you do?]
> Wait for it to stop singing, end the scene, and never speak of it again
> Question the purpose of this event's existence
> Let forth an anguished cry to the editors
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo
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DICE ROLL
OBSTACLE: A GROUP OF SINGING CYBER FROGS SO AMAZINGLY COOL YOU HAVE TO STOP AND WATCH
[On a rocky outcropping in the river is a number of cybernetically enhanced frogs in tuxedos. Three have microphones, and the others have a small band put together. As they see you approach, the three fronttoads start snapping. The band kicks up a tune, and the most amazing three part harmony you've ever heard fills the air. It's positively mesmerizing--what do you do?]
> Stop and watch
> Plug your ears
> Try to fight them off with a convenient stick
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo
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SUBMISSION
YOU DID IT!!!