HENWEN

[soulping]

[You're wading in a low river, trying to advance as fast as you can--is the apparent setup, anyways. There's a table in the center of the room with a die to roll--and as you do so the world moves around you like some kind of VR deal. Everything looks, smells, and even sounds real… but it can't actually hurt you.]

[A monitor is lit up on the table. It reads: '24 spaces remain.']

Comments

ROUND 1

[soulping]

Re: ROUND 1

[wherethewildthingsare]

...So it's just a board game.

Who wants to try their luck?

Re: ROUND 1

[shiroganeheir]

I have a feeling my luck is abysmal, but I can go for it if no one else wants to.

Re: ROUND 1

[wherethewildthingsare]

I can do it, I dunno if my luck is good or bad, though.

Re: ROUND 1

[oblivionize]

I'm not very good at luck...

Re: ROUND 1

[wherethewildthingsare]

...I can do it, then.

ROLL - 4

[wherethewildthingsare]

[LET'S THROW DEM BONES?]

OBSTACLE: THE IN LAWS

[fangirlitis]

[20 spaces remain]

[Suddenly, on a cropping of rocks in the middle of the river, the most terrifying thing anyone can see has appeared. Your in-laws, sitting around a low table. They gesture for you to have a seat, and before you can protest you're all sitting and having a delicious spot of tea.]

[You've got to make sure they don't make the rest of your life a living hell--what do you do?]

> Give a housewarming gift
> Talk about your job
> Talk about your future plans
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo

Discuss

[fangirlitis]

ROUND 2

[fangirlitis]

[19 spaces remain]

Re: ROUND 2

[shiroganeheir]

That... did not go as well as it could have. At least we did not go backwards.

Should I roll this time?

Re: ROUND 2

[wherethewildthingsare]

Sure.

Roll - 5

[shiroganeheir]

[Take that, dice]

OBSTACLE: CLOTHING EATING CYBER-PIRHANAS

[fangirlitis]

[14 spaces remain]

[There are several other people trying to cross the river around you as you move on. While you push through them, you notice an ominous burbling from the water. Suddenly, one of the NPCs is screaming, covering themselves, and running for the shore. It seems you've waded into a swarm of clothing eating cyber-piranhas! Showing up for your hot date without a pair of pants would probably go over badly--what do you do?]

> Question the validity of this creature's existence
> Embrace your new nudist nature
> Try to fight them off with a convenient stick
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo

ROUND 3

[fangirlitis]

[13 spaces remain]

Re: ROUND 3

[wherethewildthingsare]

Gold, you can roll it this time, if you want.

Re: ROUND 3

[oblivionize]

...Are you sure?

ROLL

[oblivionize]

2

OBSTACLE: BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT

[fangirlitis]

[11 spaces remain]

[Suddenly a whirlpool happens and sucks you all into the sewer. A giant anthropomorphic alligator appears out of nowhere, and begins singing a song about how if it's going to eat someone, it might as well be you. The entire thing seems like a lot of random, but--what do you do?]

> Wait for it to stop singing, end the scene, and never speak of it again
> Question the purpose of this event's existence
> Let forth an anguished cry to the editors
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo

ROUND 4

[fangirlitis]

[8 spaces remain]

ROLL - 5

[wherethewildthingsare]

...I'm stunned.

I'll roll again.

[GOD BLESS RNJESUS]

OBSTACLE: A GROUP OF SINGING CYBER FROGS SO AMAZINGLY COOL YOU HAVE TO STOP AND WATCH

[fangirlitis]

[3 spaces remain]

[On a rocky outcropping in the river is a number of cybernetically enhanced frogs in tuxedos. Three have microphones, and the others have a small band put together. As they see you approach, the three fronttoads start snapping. The band kicks up a tune, and the most amazing three part harmony you've ever heard fills the air. It's positively mesmerizing--what do you do?]

> Stop and watch
> Plug your ears
> Try to fight them off with a convenient stick
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo

FINAL ROUND

[fangirlitis]

[6 spaces remain]

Roll - 6

[shiroganeheir]

I'll get this one.

[... well. That's not that bad of luck.]

YOU DID IT!!!

[fangirlitis]

[0 spaces remaining]

[Proceed to endgame]