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Canis's heart
The moment you step through the mirror door, you seem to - slip, as if the floor were made of wax, but when you fall there is no floor to catch you; only darkness.
You fall for some time. Eventually, it feels as if you're not falling at all - but rather, floating . . . and some time after that, it almost feels as if you have no body at all. The light from which the entrance of Canis's heart is disappears quickly, and you're left with nothing - not even your own screams, if you have any; nothing seems to leave your throat, and there's no sound at all, besides. Even the rushing of wind is gone, and your own pulse seems to fade away. . .
. . . what penetrates your consciousness next is the soft sound of music. Someway or another, you find yourself on a white platform; you're dressed in plain clothes of your team color, all items gone from your person. In front of you, four stones float; all perfectly square and identical to each other. Each have images - a sword, a staff, a bow and arrow, and a sparkling circle . . . you understand what you must do.
CHOOSE YOUR CLASS
WARRIOR - MAGICIAN - ARCHER - ACOLYTE
CHOOSE YOUR CLASS | IRC: #swordheartonline! | PORT BAGHENNEN | LOCATION SELECT: 1 2 | AREA O█E: S█RE█G█H | AREA █WO: DU██ | AR█A THR██: █MOT█O██ | AR█A THR██: █MOT█O██: 1 2 | ██E█ ██U█: B███████: 1 2 | ?????: ███████ | TRUE HEART
You fall for some time. Eventually, it feels as if you're not falling at all - but rather, floating . . . and some time after that, it almost feels as if you have no body at all. The light from which the entrance of Canis's heart is disappears quickly, and you're left with nothing - not even your own screams, if you have any; nothing seems to leave your throat, and there's no sound at all, besides. Even the rushing of wind is gone, and your own pulse seems to fade away. . .
. . . what penetrates your consciousness next is the soft sound of music. Someway or another, you find yourself on a white platform; you're dressed in plain clothes of your team color, all items gone from your person. In front of you, four stones float; all perfectly square and identical to each other. Each have images - a sword, a staff, a bow and arrow, and a sparkling circle . . . you understand what you must do.
WARRIOR - MAGICIAN - ARCHER - ACOLYTE
no subject
You're wrong. Not everyone loves me. I don't want everyone ta love me. I don't want that kinda burden, specially not here, 'cause I can't handle it. I can't protect everyone I can't even keep my own team from dyin'. I'm no hero. I'm jus' a thief. A no-good thief. An' each time I get another memory back it only serves to prove that even more. Even if I call myself Mira here, even if I try ta be Mira, I'm always gonna be the Phantom Thief Dark, too. I 'unno how to stop.
When you didn't want me to touch you, I didn't touch you. When you wanted me to back off, I backed off. I tried to be the kinda person you'd get along with. But y'know what?
I ain't gonna be like Sparrow, ever. I ain't gonna be that open ta attaching and loving those outside of Barghest, 'cause last time I did, they died, everyone keeps dyin' an' I can't stop it an' I hate how much it hurts, I can't cope with tryin' to protect everyone an' I can't deal with losin' those who're important to me.
I listened when you told me what was wrong, when you told me you didn't like bein' touched, when you called me crazy an' disgusting. I don't care who you're close to--you can like whoever you wanna like, but it hurts when I keep tryin' to get along with you an' all you do is deny me. An' I hate it when you make those stupid fake smiles, when you pretend you're okay with shit when you're really not.
So I'm petty an' needy an' get jealous. But you're worse.
no subject
But I'm not asking you to be like Sparrow. I never asked you to be like Sparrow; I told you all the reasons why I love Sparrow, but I never asked you to be like her. You wanted to know.
I told you not to touch me, and you didn't, but that was after I beat your face in several times, after I told you to stop over and over, and after that? You think I'm going to like you? I had to fight to get you to stop.
Emotional manipulation is the worst you can do, and I told you that. I told you you were disgusting because you tried to prove to me that I liked you in some way shape or form because I actually didn't let you kill yourself in front of me. That's blatant emotional manipulation and that's disgusting. That's also something you did. That's the kind of thing you pull off while everyone else is dying, while there are other people who care about you, that's what you try to do. That's disgusting and you're disgusting for doing that. I called you crazy because that's not sane behavior.
I'm not saying I haven't hurt you. This is a mutually hurtful relationship, and we've never gotten along. I know I've hurt you, I know you've hurt me too. But what should I accept you for? Should I love you and trust you because you keep hurting me? You stop afterwards but the damage is always done and you never ever manage to make up for it.
. . . and you're a liar, too. You won't be able to loving people outside of Barghest but you say that you'd love me if I wasn't Barghest? Really? Why do you even want me anyway?
I don't particularly care if I'm worse than you; that's who I am. You're the one who's trying to earn my affection and in doing so, condemn someone else because she already has it."
1/2
I wasn't tryin' to manipulate you at all. Maybe I jus' wanted ta stop I wanted to prove myself to you I wanted you to believe me an' I 'unno how else you want me to do that.
I said I don't care who you love, I jus' said that, I said you can like whoever you wanna like an' I don't care who you trust with your own secrets. I don't lie! Not about shit like this! I'm not like you!
I told her it ain't right to make you love her by goin' around Canis's heart an' manipulating it! It's not right for anyone to be in here! Not me, not her, not Lupus!
An' I'm sick of this! You never listen to me! I try ta listen to you but 'scuse me if I don't understand you when you don't say shit to my face! I ain't a mind reader!
no subject
he's done. he shouldn't even be in here in the first place. ]
no subject