GULGALLANA COWS

[soulping]

[ Suddenly, everyone but the select group you're with disappears from the room. Whoosh. So it looks like you all have to collaborate! And EDEN's effeminate voice sounds a little distressed, chiming in through the TV screen as a question pops up. ]

Some poor people had to turn to the Internet for help! It's awful! You have some good advice, right? Let's help 'em! Just type a reply on the keyboard there.

[ There is also a keyboard on the floor in front of the TV. What? What is technology? ]

Comments

QUESTION 1

[soulping]

If i eat myself would i become twice as big or would i disappear?

DISCUSS

[soulping]

Re: DISCUSS

[beathach]

[. . . IS THIS A REAL QUESTION]

What.

Re: DISCUSS

[naturen]

I... I don't... You'd die?

Re: DISCUSS

[hardertheyfall]

Neither. You would be more than twice your size. You would be titanic.

SUBMIT

[soulping]

Re: SUBMIT

[beathach]

Neither, as it's impossible to do in every sense of the word. A person would either die of shock or blood loss first.

QUESTION 2

[soulping]

How do i remove my eyeball?

STATUS EFFECTS FOR THIS ROUND: Choose one:
- Weird "buzzing" sound in your head
- Having trouble moving body
- Eyes are watery

DISCUSS

[soulping]

Re: DISCUSS

[naturen]

[ Ren figures the weird "buzzing" sound is an effect of the question being one that kind of... ]

Ew.

I-I mean... Why? Just... [ smgdh ] "Hit yourself on the back of the head really, really hard."

SUBMIT

[soulping]

Re: SUBMIT

[naturen]

Tease a bird, then cover the eye you don't want to lose (or don't cover either if you want to lose both). When the bird gets mad, it will peck your eye (or eyes) out.

If you can't find a bird, just hit yourself on the back of your head REALLY hard. But don't forget to cover up an eye if you don't want to lose it!

QUESTION 3

[soulping]

HELP?! VEGETARIAN ATE MEAT?!?

STATUS EFFECTS FOR THIS ROUND: Choose one:
- Dizzy, nauseated
- Everything is rainbows
- Sleepy/need a nap

DISCUSS

[soulping]

Re: DISCUSS

[hardertheyfall]

[ It's hard to concentrate when everything is rainbows. ]

Uh... isn't that good? Meat is expensive and hard to find.

Re: DISCUSS

[beathach]

[cccrrrrouching down, hand to his head. Oh god, he is definitely allergic to something in this room that must be it

He mutters into his hand]

They're going to die because their body is so used to eating vegetables that by eating meat they've unsettled the Ph levels in their stomach.

SUBMIT

[soulping]

Re: SUBMIT

[naturen]

SAY YOUR PRAYERS!!1

QUESTION 4

[soulping]

What does it mean if you dream about falling into a canyon and being eaten by a dragon on the way down?

STATUS EFFECTS FOR THIS ROUND: Choose one:
- Snuggly
- Can't stop burping
- Hallucinating butterflies in the room

DISCUSS

[soulping]

Re: DISCUSS

[naturen]

[ ... Butterflies. ]

Did... Did I fall asleep?

Re: DISCUSS

[hardertheyfall]

[ Cross is now distracted by butterflies in his rainbow state. ]

What are we doing now?

Re: DISCUSS

[beathach]

[what is this sudden desire to cuddle someone no something is deFINITELY WRONG he refuses to move, he's too dizzy]

I say we just . . . reverse the wording.

SUBMIT

[soulping]

Re: SUBMIT

[beathach]

They're going to fall into a dragon and get eaten by a canyon on the way down.