OMETOTCHTLI

[soulping]

[You're wading in a low river, trying to advance as fast as you can--is the apparent setup, anyways. There's a table in the center of the room with a die to roll--and as you do so the world moves around you like some kind of VR deal. Everything looks, smells, and even sounds real… but it can't actually hurt you.]

[A monitor is lit up on the table. It reads: '24 spaces remain.']

Comments

ROUND 1

[soulping]

Re: ROUND 1

[rednecking]

[why is it about romance]

Who wants to roll first?

Re: ROUND 1

[foulhussy]

I guess anybody's fine. I'll go.

[She rolls. And gets a 4.]

OBSTACLE: CYBER SHARK IMPACT

[fangirlitis]

[20 spaces remain]

[As you wade through the river waters towards the other bank (and your true love!), you see an ominous fin in the river swimming towards you. It jumps from the water, revealing a terrifying Cyber Shark coming right for you! There's not much time to act--what do you do?]

> Punch it in the nose
> Play dead
> Attempt to surf
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo

Discuss

[fangirlitis]

ROUND 2

[fangirlitis]

[23 spaces remain]

Re: ROUND 2

[foulhussy]

Why do we have to have such shitty luck?

Re: ROUND 2

[rednecking]

I'd really like to know the answer to that too.

Re: ROUND 2

[foulhussy]

Someone else roll this turn.

ROUND 3

[fangirlitis]

[17 spaces remain]

Re: ROUND 3

[redatheart]

[HEY LOOK I'M SMART LET'S LISTEN TO ME ALWAYS]

I suppose it's my turn to roll.

Re: ROUND 3

[rednecking]

Yeah, yeah, you're boring. Go ahead.

Re: ROUND 3

[redatheart]

I'm right.

[rolling, and he gets a 5!]

ROUND 4

[fangirlitis]

[13 spaces remain]

Re: ROUND 4

[rednecking]

This is so dumb.

[ROLLING A 5]

OBSTACLE: THE IN LAWS

[fangirlitis]

[8 spaces remain]

[Suddenly, on a cropping of rocks in the middle of the river, the most terrifying thing anyone can see has appeared. Your in-laws, sitting around a low table. They gesture for you to have a seat, and before you can protest you're all sitting and having a delicious spot of tea.]

[You've got to make sure they don't make the rest of your life a living hell--what do you do?]

> Give a housewarming gift
> Talk about your job
> Talk about your future plans
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo

Discuss

[fangirlitis]

Re: OBSTACLE: THE IN LAWS

[redatheart]

We'll give them a housewarming gift (and hope they don't hate it)

FINAL ROUND

[fangirlitis]

[7 spaces remain]

Re: FINAL ROUND

[redatheart]

...Well. At least it didn't hurt our chances.

[rolling a 2]

Re: FINAL ROUND

[rednecking]

Didn't do much for 'em either.

OBSTACLE: CYBER OCTOPUS

[fangirlitis]

[5 spaces remain]

[In a particularly deep part of the river waits something insidious. You feel tentacles wrapping around a leg--suckers grabbing hold of you. Looking down, you can see a cybernetic octopus hiding in a pit. Circuitry runs down its tentacles as it squeezes and pulls upon you. You don't have time for this sucker--what do you do?]

> Panic and flail wildly
> Kiss it. On the beak.
> Try to fight it off with a convenient stick
> Run away
> Break into a killer guitar solo

Discuss

[fangirlitis]

Re: OBSTACLE: CYBER OCTOPUS

[rednecking]

We're goin' with the guitar solo.

FINAL RESULTS

[fangirlitis]

[6 spaces remain]

[Proceed to endgame]