soulping | alectryon / cats / epona

You appear in a near-empty room. But you are not alone—your team is here, and another. Mirrors line the walls on all sides. Reflected in those mirrors are--

Not you.

Flickering in and out of the mirrors are images: flashes of reds, blues, greens; trees and fields and water; faces you know – all of the "reflections" are images of Kyriakos as you know it.

But it seems so far away—covered in a thick layer of grime.

Those of you whose mirrors are in danger of fading away on the outside know instinctively that you can't simply return. At least, not as you are in your current state. Anyone who looks at them will notice that their forms seem somehow insubstantial, almost see-through. More over: you feel emptied of something, something essential. Whatever it is that makes you care, that keeps you tethered to your very existence has weakened—is in fact failing.

Those of you in the room not in danger of losing yourself understand already that you must aid these people in finding both a new source of strength, new, stronger connections – and clearing the way back home.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

( handing his out to kiiro then! and taking his. )

[ As you exchange and drink the liquid offered to you by Kiiro, you experience visions or thoughts and feelings, not your own. They are the things that Kiiro DESPISES about themselves or that bring them SELF DOUBT, and you can feel all that anger or uncertainty directed at the you-that-isn't you. Perhaps you should say something to them...? ]

[Hoo boy. You get overwhelming self-loathing from Kiiro on a few levels. There's the part of him that's still a Heroic Spirit, that isn't human and has had their humanity eroded away by generations of being called upon as a symbol, as a myth, as something greater. That part feels that everything about Kyriakos is beneath them and that this place has made them weaker. Brought them down and closer to earth again in a way that a Heroic Spirit ought never to allow themselves to falter. It's strange because there's a twisted pride to having defied his mystical programming but it's undercut by the idea that he's a failure. Which leads to the next layer: That he isn't even a Heroic Spirit but a monstrous, half-aborted attempt at the glorious incarnation he was intended to be. That the him everyone in Kyriakos knows is incomplete and that a higher level of completion might've just been him serving his purposes as a monster, then dying as a monster against the magical girls of his world. Underneath all of that is a harsh, needling voice (his own) telling him that he's weakened himself being here. Opening up. Wanting to be human again. Wanting to share experiences with others. Wanting to care for others without the guarantee of their obedience. Wanting to control or possess the ones he loves, to protect and cherish them... But also to own them and know that they're his and cannot leave or be lost to him like... Like so many things have, unacceptably. It goes on and on. He hates his humanity and he hates his lack of humanity. All aspects of himself are insufficient compared to what they should be.]

( this is. . .

a lot. some of this is new, feelings that hadn't expected or considered kiiro to have and he's not even sure how to feel about it. he feels like he should have known, should have understood kiiro better after all this time together, and he can't help but be angry with himself, but. . . some of this. he knows.

without knowing it, he blurts out: )

You're good enough, Kiiro.

[smiling surprised and then looking down into whichever chalice he's holding at the moment at his reflection]

By what standards... [then looking up because he knows that isn't helpful]

I'm sorry, I won't ask a question that petty. I know you're trying to reassure me.

[part of him is just grateful that one of his best friends isn't just walking away after seeing all that]

By any standards. It's hard, I know, to get out of your own head and your own way of feeling about things and yourself. . . but the worst person to rely on for an accurate judgement can be yourself.

Maybe it's because we're both spirits, but. I don't know. I can't help but relate.

I'm not just trying to reassure you. I know these things.

[looks at him for a long moment, then... ] You do, don't you?

I have to try and remember that. Having others who genuinely relate to you is a new thing I only found upon coming to Kyriakos.

alectryon / cats / epona

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