[He's a little slower to react than he normally would be. These damn voices... As he feels the tentacles begin to drag him away he finally stirs and moves in an attempt to shove his Cruxis a Crystal into one. He knows immediately it'd seek to graft itself to her, pulling at her soul like a lonely being who doesn't know when to stop trying to fill the void with others. A Cruxis Crystal without a keycrest is a friend to no one. Throwing everything in the body out of balance, mutating it, seeking to devour that soul into its lonely self and leave nothing, but an empty husk behind.
[And trying to fill a void with something that both exists, but is also empty is going to do some weird shit. There's the whispering again and now she isn't 'silent.' There is no sound, but somehow the screams are coming in loud and clear, but that's what happens when you start mixing souls together.]
[There's the peacefulness of nothingness, the happiness that comes with the void. But then there's MORE.]
[There's all the pain. The pain of never feeling like she belongs, the pain of loneliness, the pain of failing the Carapacians, the pain of losing everything, the pain of losing her friends, the pain of being abandoned.]
[I want to be seen. I want to be valued. I don't want to be another face, please want me for me. I can't take being alone again, I can't, I can't, I can't.]
[I want to stop fighting on my own. I want to be worth fighting for. Please don't forget me.]
[This he was not expecting and his eyes widen in shock.]
Seles-
[Shit, he can't- He just- Why is nothing ever enough? How much more of this does he have to go through? It hurts and all he wants, all he's ever wanted is to have value. To someone, anyone, he can't-
He doesn't even realize he's crying. It just hurts. Why, why does no one care-- no...one.... No. He can't stop crying, but his hand comes up to cover his face.]
N-no... I... Lloyd. You-
[He believes in Lloyd. No matter how screwed up he becomes Lloyd...will always notice him. Even when they're at odds-- he believes in Lloyd. And Roxy...needs someone like that. Half-blind with tears he tries to reach out and grab her hand, gasping whenever he touches the ropes holding her by accident. Shit, shit, shit.]
[This is what happens when you try to do soul fuckery when you're messing with a void entity.]
[But, at the very least, it has an affect on the creature. She shrinks, back to the form she had originally, and collapsing to the ground. However, even if she's a part of Roxy, her form is Echo magic, so she's not quite gone yet.]
[With that, the red also vanishes from Roxy and Roxy groans.]
[Without the tentacles holding him up he collapses to his knees. He does manage to grab Roxy's hand, but he can't do much else. He settles for dropping his head into her lap and smothering his tears in her knees. Very manly right here.
His grip on her hand though is tight. He won't let her leave.]
[He is having a lot of FEELINGS, way worse than usual even. He knows he needs to get it under control. Accept it. Accept it like he always does. But half of these aren't even his. Shit... He just...needs a moment. Shakily his fingers try to intertwine with hers in some attempt at being reassuring though the blood coming from them probably makes it creepy more than anything.]
[Oh, tears are no good. Reaching up he tries to wipe them away for her with the back of his shaking hand. Feelings...damn it. Damn it. But feelings are okay. He'd rather have feelings than be like Belt. Even terrible, heartbreaking feelings that make him act so uncool.]
Nice. Then...we should probably...do something about her.
[They're not going to stop. He's not the only one dealing with too many feelings. Reaching up to grab his hand.] S-sorry...I really was bad about that not crying thing...
[Looking over at the Shadow and she grows tense.] ...
Yeah... Yeah, you were. But I won't say I told you so. [He feels her grow tense, but he's still struggling a bit himself. Finally he pulls it together enough to stand up.] ...She's just feelings.
[He squeezes her hand, a little slow in his thoughts as he tries to respond.]
That.... it's fine. I'm afraid all the time-- if that wasn't. Obvious. [It's not like he hasn't been an unpredictable mess of mood swings the majority of the time she's known him, oh wait.] Still let's try...not running away. Might be better for our mental health, hunh?
[The Shadow shifts, sitting up, looking haggard and worn out, staring at them.]
Always being the last. It's not just losing everyone, but I'm also the only one to remember them. If I left though, who would remember me? It's like a dream. It seems so real, but when you wake up, it's all gone.
And then I want to walk away because at least...at least the void will always be there. It's a part of me that can never be taken away.
But then...Reyson called me out on how I couldn't see anyone around me. I looked and I saw you and started to see other people and things started to feel real again, just a little bit.
Then, despite how much other people buy into my persona, you kept digging and questioned it and I....I felt real. Wasn't just a silly little alien, but someone who...
No, you're not. It's not all your fault, I know I fucked up, I just...I don't know where.
I want to be better. I want to make real friends. I want enough reasons that I'll never want to walk away. I want to remember why it was always worth it to keep trying.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[But the tentacles are lashing out to wrap around him to pull him away.]
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There is a reason he didn't want her to have it.]
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[WELL!!!!!]
[We have reached max soul fuckery now.]
[And trying to fill a void with something that both exists, but is also empty is going to do some weird shit. There's the whispering again and now she isn't 'silent.' There is no sound, but somehow the screams are coming in loud and clear, but that's what happens when you start mixing souls together.]
[There's the peacefulness of nothingness, the happiness that comes with the void. But then there's MORE.]
[There's all the pain. The pain of never feeling like she belongs, the pain of loneliness, the pain of failing the Carapacians, the pain of losing everything, the pain of losing her friends, the pain of being abandoned.]
[I want to be seen. I want to be valued. I don't want to be another face, please want me for me. I can't take being alone again, I can't, I can't, I can't.]
[I want to stop fighting on my own. I want to be worth fighting for. Please don't forget me.]
[And a repeating mantra. I want to have existed.]
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Seles-
[Shit, he can't- He just- Why is nothing ever enough? How much more of this does he have to go through? It hurts and all he wants, all he's ever wanted is to have value. To someone, anyone, he can't-
He doesn't even realize he's crying. It just hurts. Why, why does no one care-- no...one.... No. He can't stop crying, but his hand comes up to cover his face.]
N-no... I... Lloyd. You-
[He believes in Lloyd. No matter how screwed up he becomes Lloyd...will always notice him. Even when they're at odds-- he believes in Lloyd. And Roxy...needs someone like that. Half-blind with tears he tries to reach out and grab her hand, gasping whenever he touches the ropes holding her by accident. Shit, shit, shit.]
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[But, at the very least, it has an affect on the creature. She shrinks, back to the form she had originally, and collapsing to the ground. However, even if she's a part of Roxy, her form is Echo magic, so she's not quite gone yet.]
[With that, the red also vanishes from Roxy and Roxy groans.]
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His grip on her hand though is tight. He won't let her leave.]
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[She's looking down at Zelos in surprise. Then she remembers what happened.] Fuck!
[Looking around and-Shadow is close, but down, and he's-]
[Grabbing onto his hand and tugging.] Zelos? Zelos, are you o-fuck, no, of course you're not.
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[She squeezes his hand and then leans over, wrapping her free arm around him, to hug him as best she can.]
[It's confusing and hazy, but-]
You fought for me. [And her voice is thick again, like there's a knot in her throat.]
You crazy damn bastard. And you say you haven't given me a reason to trust you. Gonna call you a liar if you ever say that again.
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[Shit... It was supposed to be a joke, but it just sounds sad. Sitting back on his heels he looks up at her.]
I am...really fucked up right now. You're important to me. Come home with me.
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[There is so much worry here and tears because she's crying too. She touches his cheek, leaning in to kiss his forehead.]
I'll come home with you.
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Nice. Then...we should probably...do something about her.
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[Looking over at the Shadow and she grows tense.] ...
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That.... it's fine. I'm afraid all the time-- if that wasn't. Obvious. [It's not like he hasn't been an unpredictable mess of mood swings the majority of the time she's known him, oh wait.] Still let's try...not running away. Might be better for our mental health, hunh?
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It hurts.
[The Shadow shifts, sitting up, looking haggard and worn out, staring at them.]
Always being the last. It's not just losing everyone, but I'm also the only one to remember them. If I left though, who would remember me? It's like a dream. It seems so real, but when you wake up, it's all gone.
And then I want to walk away because at least...at least the void will always be there. It's a part of me that can never be taken away.
But then...Reyson called me out on how I couldn't see anyone around me. I looked and I saw you and started to see other people and things started to feel real again, just a little bit.
Then, despite how much other people buy into my persona, you kept digging and questioned it and I....I felt real. Wasn't just a silly little alien, but someone who...
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I want to be better. I want to make real friends. I want enough reasons that I'll never want to walk away. I want to remember why it was always worth it to keep trying.
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...You want me to tell you?
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I want to be a friend who can make you happy.
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You don't trust yourself.
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[Looking over at the Shadow.]
...I don't. I know I'm capable, I know I can DO things, but for the things that matter, I'm always lost.
I don't want to be hurt again. I want to run away.
But there is at least someone who wants me here. [She squeezes Zelos' hand.] And right now, I want to stay with him more.
[She nods and then fades away.]
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