soulping | TAKSHAKA

[ you're ushered into a tiny break room, which is SURPRISINGLY WELL LIT! There's some chairs, a single table, fountain pens and inkwells, and a box of (stale) donuts. ]

[ on the table is a single sheet of paper, with the following questions:

TEAM NAME (if made up of multiple teams, choose a new one):

1.) What would you say your skills, as a team are?

2.) How would you define suffering?

3.) How far are you willing to go to achieve victory?

4.) Where do you see yourselves in five years?

5.) What are your team's weaknesses?

6.) What accomplishment are you most proud of?

7.) Tell me about a time you made a mistake.

8.) If you saw another employee stealing from the company, what would you do?

9.) Describe your team.

10.) What motivates you?

11.) What makes you uncomfortable?

12.) Can you say: 'Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper' and cross-sell a washing machine at the same time?

13.) If I came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us?

14.) Calculate the angle of two clock hands when time is 11:50.

15.) Has a member of your team ever killed another living creature? Did they enjoy it?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[puts another angry face next to #2]

We could just give sarcastic answers to all of them.

Including the reasonable questions? I wouldn't be opposed.

If she wants to learn more about us, she should talk to us in person, or see how we act in a proper game. Making us fill out a questionnaire...that's just lazy.

But this is a quicker way to do it, so it makes sense that she would want to take the fast route.

Laziness shouldn't be rewarded.

True...

We'll have time later to teach her the true power of friendship. Or something along those lines.

Or at least to not have slaughterhouses.

[ shudders ]

. . . or that.

And it's our job to show her that quicker isn't always better.

It's like cooking with a mix.

What do you mean?

Just like it's better to cook from scratch so you can adjust the ingredients as you go along to make the best dish possible, it's better to get to know a person from the heart instead of using a script.