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RATATOSKR
[ you're ushered into a tiny break room, which is SURPRISINGLY WELL LIT! There's some chairs, a single table, fountain pens and inkwells, and a box of (stale) donuts. ]
[ on the table is a single sheet of paper, with the following questions:
TEAM NAME (if made up of multiple teams, choose a new one):
1.) What would you say your skills, as a team are?
2.) How would you define suffering?
3.) How far are you willing to go to achieve victory?
4.) Where do you see yourselves in five years?
5.) What are your team's weaknesses?
6.) What accomplishment are you most proud of?
7.) Tell me about a time you made a mistake.
8.) If you saw another employee stealing from the company, what would you do?
9.) Describe your team.
10.) What motivates you?
11.) What makes you uncomfortable?
12.) Can you say: 'Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper' and cross-sell a washing machine at the same time?
13.) If I came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us?
14.) Calculate the angle of two clock hands when time is 11:50.
15.) Has a member of your team ever killed another living creature? Did they enjoy it?
[ on the table is a single sheet of paper, with the following questions:
TEAM NAME (if made up of multiple teams, choose a new one):
1.) What would you say your skills, as a team are?
2.) How would you define suffering?
3.) How far are you willing to go to achieve victory?
4.) Where do you see yourselves in five years?
5.) What are your team's weaknesses?
6.) What accomplishment are you most proud of?
7.) Tell me about a time you made a mistake.
8.) If you saw another employee stealing from the company, what would you do?
9.) Describe your team.
10.) What motivates you?
11.) What makes you uncomfortable?
12.) Can you say: 'Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper' and cross-sell a washing machine at the same time?
13.) If I came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us?
14.) Calculate the angle of two clock hands when time is 11:50.
15.) Has a member of your team ever killed another living creature? Did they enjoy it?
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[aka we're so fucking badass we make the system too badass to keep being whipped by our badassitude]
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[Just looking at them. Writing down 'knocking irrational people the fuck out']
Okay. Mistake we've made.
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[I don't want to be honest again for this.]
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Handle it ourselves, don't we?
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Vigilante! And retrieve the goods back.
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Describe ourselves? ...I don't think 'hot as the sun' is going to help us out here.
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[Yeah he is just writing all this crazy shit down]
What motivates us-
[You know what not even going to legit ask this one. Down goes 'self-centered materialism']
What makes us uncomfortable?
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Heh, good answer.
Hmmm....getting close to the deadline without being done ahead of time.
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[Combining that into "dying before meeting a deadline". Also just writing "Yes. Customer clothing is optional." next to the cross-selling one, there is no shame here sorry.
Next one-- ...looks at them. ...Fuck he's just writing "Paella, food of the gods and productive workers alike" there. Like you two can cook. Acute 30° Reflex 330° goes for the angle one cause hell yeah math.]
I'm pretty sure we've all killed things. Who wants to talk about it?
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What is Paella anyway?
[....haha.] Can I...pass....
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[Looking at them. And then just writing down "Yes. Yes." Whatever, he's not going to lie.]
Alright, I'll hand this in.
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[Sob. That last question.]
[Salutes.]