soulping ([personal profile] soulping) wrote2014-03-03 03:13 pm

EPONA

[ you're ushered into a tiny break room, which is SURPRISINGLY WELL LIT! There's some chairs, a single table, fountain pens and inkwells, and a box of (stale) donuts. ]

[ on the table is a single sheet of paper, with the following questions:


TEAM NAME (if made up of multiple teams, choose a new one):

1.) What would you say your skills, as a team are?

2.) How would you define suffering?

3.) How far are you willing to go to achieve victory?

4.) Where do you see yourselves in five years?

5.) What are your team's weaknesses?

6.) What accomplishment are you most proud of?

7.) Tell me about a time you made a mistake.

8.) If you saw another employee stealing from the company, what would you do?

9.) Describe your team.

10.) What motivates you?

11.) What makes you uncomfortable?

12.) Can you say: 'Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper' and cross-sell a washing machine at the same time?

13.) If I came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us?

14.) Calculate the angle of two clock hands when time is 11:50.

15.) Has a member of your team ever killed another living creature? Did they enjoy it?
acemedium: WASN'T ME (insert Shaggy lyrics here)

[personal profile] acemedium 2014-03-04 02:22 am (UTC)(link)
... Sure, I guess? He can't be that injured if he's breaking in our office anyway.

[personal profile] gandere 2014-03-04 02:24 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, that's right.

And if he attacks me, we'll sue for assault!
acemedium: It's super effective?! (Maya used CUTE FACE (in hideous uniform))

[personal profile] acemedium 2014-03-04 02:26 am (UTC)(link)
You can take him, right?

[personal profile] gandere 2014-03-04 02:28 am (UTC)(link)
I could!!

--but then I couldn't sue for assault.
acemedium: (I put on my robe and magatama)

[personal profile] acemedium 2014-03-04 02:30 am (UTC)(link)
But we're throwing him out anyway, right?

[Or you are since she won't and can't]

[personal profile] gandere 2014-03-04 02:32 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah, but that doesn't mean we're unable to take him to court.

So if he puts up a fight, we'll sue and get rich!
acemedium: the text is there because otherwise people would have no idea what they're doing (We gettin' all pointy up here)

[personal profile] acemedium 2014-03-04 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
I can help if we get to court!

.. Probably.

[personal profile] gandere 2014-03-04 02:34 am (UTC)(link)
[ Yeah! ] Then we don't have to share any of the profits with a lawyer!
acemedium: (forgot who was phone WHERE WAS BURGER??)

[personal profile] acemedium 2014-03-04 02:36 am (UTC)(link)
... We'll probably still need a lawyer...

[personal profile] gandere 2014-03-04 02:50 am (UTC)(link)
What?

I'm the boss and I say we don't need a lawyer if you're going to help out in court.
acemedium: she'll beat you up with her noodle arms (Does Maya have to smack a bitch?)

[personal profile] acemedium 2014-03-04 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
We're both the boss and I'm not a lawyer! I just help out.

[personal profile] gandere 2014-03-04 03:12 am (UTC)(link)
Like an intern?
acemedium: (I put on my robe and magatama)

[personal profile] acemedium 2014-03-04 12:54 pm (UTC)(link)
I don't think so.

I think he just needed all the help he could get...