EPONA

[soulping]

[ You find yourself sequestered in a cave deep within Waldemar's mountain. A table and a set of chairs have been carved from the surrounding rock. Torches are set into the walls to provide light, while a faint breeze blows through cracks in the walls and ceiling to provide ventilation. There are no doors or windows to speak of.

In the center of the room are your (randomly assigned) gifts: A BASKET OF FOODSTUFFS and AN ELEGANT SWORD WITH A BEJEWELED SHEATH.

There’s an hourglass of wrought silver embedded in the wall, with ten rubies inside. Pinned beside it is an elegant tapestry featuring a crowded church service. You are part of THE PRIESTS.

Resting on the table are the following: a sheet of parchment, a quill, and a capped jar of ink. Written on the parchment is a list and three words in bold lettering:

PROTECT
TARGET
DEFEND

Choose a role and a course of action.]

Comments

[gandere]

I told you we should have given it away when we had the chance. Now we are punished with... liquor? Is this liquor?

We can't have this in our possession as priests!

[acemedium]

We still got some stuff from nobles!

And we can give it to the peasants to cheer them up.

[ACE PRIEST]

[wingtamer]

Why don't we give it to someone else so everyone can get a chance to get a gift?

[acemedium]

Like who?

[wingtamer]

The shepherds, maybe? They're probably just as poor as peasants are.

[acemedium]

As long as they don't get sheepish.

[wingtamer]

They'll probably be fine?

[acemedium]

It'll turn out pretty badly if they have a cow.

[wingtamer]

But you could make burgers out of cows. . .

[acemedium]

You bring up a very good point.

[wingtamer]

Right?

[acemedium]

[nods sagely..!]

[gandere]

The Epona Brotherhood shall do just that. Give it to the peasants and let them drink in merriment!

[acemedium]

[FINALLY GETTING INTO IT, HUH]

You mean the Elite Brotherhood of Epona priests!

[gandere]

Yes, the Elite Brotherhood of Epona's Priests and their Less-Than-Religious Monk!

[ STRIKES A FIGHTING POSE. ] Hoo-ha!

[acemedium]

....Monks?

[gandere]

[ Pauses mid-Jojos pose. ] Yes, a monk. I know how to fight.

[acemedium]

[TILTS HEAD]

But you're a priest!

[gandere]

I don't believe in religion because I practice magic so I have to become something else.

[ STRIKES ANOTHER POSE. ] I am the hooded vigilante who protects the priests from those who would bring harm to them for stealing from the rich!

[acemedium]

[Wow Schooler you can't just forsake their role because you want to sound cooler!!! Like spirit mediums really have a religion that isn't spirit mediuming]





Laaaaame.

[gandere]

[ SHE JUST DID. ] Lame?!

I'm cool!

I'm way cooler than you guys!

[acemedium]

Super lame.

[gandere]

I challenge you to a duel.

[acemedium]

Pass.

[gandere]

You know you'd lose because I'm the greatest monk to ever bless this temple!

[ POSING INTENSIFIES. ]