RATATOSKR

[soulping]

[ you're ushered into a tiny break room, which is SURPRISINGLY WELL LIT! There's some chairs, a single table, fountain pens and inkwells, and a box of (stale) donuts. ]

[ on the table is a single sheet of paper, with the following questions:


TEAM NAME (if made up of multiple teams, choose a new one):

1.) What would you say your skills, as a team are?

2.) How would you define suffering?

3.) How far are you willing to go to achieve victory?

4.) Where do you see yourselves in five years?

5.) What are your team's weaknesses?

6.) What accomplishment are you most proud of?

7.) Tell me about a time you made a mistake.

8.) If you saw another employee stealing from the company, what would you do?

9.) Describe your team.

10.) What motivates you?

11.) What makes you uncomfortable?

12.) Can you say: 'Peter Pepper Picked a Pickled Pepper' and cross-sell a washing machine at the same time?

13.) If I came to your house for dinner, what would you prepare for us?

14.) Calculate the angle of two clock hands when time is 11:50.

15.) Has a member of your team ever killed another living creature? Did they enjoy it?

Comments

Re: INTERVIEW DISCUSSION!

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

So.

Wanna answer for our team, or answer for what is gonna appeal to her most.

Re: INTERVIEW DISCUSSION!

[glorifiedtrash]

Do we know what will appeal to her? I've only talk to her the handful of times ♪.

Re: INTERVIEW DISCUSSION!

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

She's under the belief that production is the means to profit, but only for a few, and everyone else can pretty much die so long as things are efficient.

[I'm not fond of her.]

Re: INTERVIEW DISCUSSION!

[glorifiedtrash]

Yeah, but there are dif-- [Stopping. YOU KNOW HE KNOWS SOME THINGS. But that might just be obnoxious in this case. Also, he is not Regal. HE CAN DO MATHS. Large business set-ups aren't his thing.] Aaaah, nevermind. Do you think you could even pull off giving her answers she likes?

Re: INTERVIEW DISCUSSION!

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

For writing down, I can.

I'd just want to punch her in the face if I had to say it.

[peoplediewhenikillthem]

We're not here to be violent towards the Echo. [ We're here to WIN. ]

Re: INTERVIEW DISCUSSION!

[glorifiedtrash]

[Looking this paper over. ...Trying not to laugh.]

You'd better ask her if we can lie first. Because we are about as inefficient as it gets.

Re: INTERVIEW DISCUSSION!

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

But wouldn't she know we were lying then?

[peoplediewhenikillthem]

Don't hafta lie.

Can just neglect to mention things.

[glorifiedtrash]

This is going to turn out a terrible mess no matter what we do. How about we go for broke and try to make ourselves sound like the best applicants possible?

[peoplediewhenikillthem]

[ WHATEVER GETS US A WIN, MAN. ]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Probs.

Let's go for broke.

[glorifiedtrash]

Alright then. First one. What are our skills as a team?

[...looking at them. Looking at the paper.]

I think between the three of us we can say we have all the social graces covered.

[Jotting that down yep]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[Snerks.] Social grace and very honest.

[peoplediewhenikillthem]

Sounds 'bout right.

... that next question though.

[glorifiedtrash]

Exceedingly honest. Good at construction. [You know, in the sense that you have to tear something down first before you can begin...] Loyal to severe fault. Capable of going long hours and putting in all nighters if asked ♥... Goal-oriented.

[Bullshitting +20 right here. But next question!]

...I think that one's pretty obvious for us.

[Just writes down 'failure']

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

[Hey, I can do all nighters.]

Yep.

Hmmm, next one could be a bit tricky. I suppose it should be looked at like we're trying to reach the top?

[glorifiedtrash]

[...] Anything within legal limits as manipulated by the business elect.

[peoplediewhenikillthem]

... as long as it doesn't trample on the success of others as well.

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Does sound pretty legalizy.

[glorifiedtrash]

Alright. Where do we see ourselves in five years?

[peoplediewhenikillthem]

[ NOT HERE. ] Having been successful in our goals and striving towards new ones.

[ Except not her because she's the laziest person in the world. ]

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

Could complete a lot of goals in five years.

[glorifiedtrash]

All right, all right.

[Writing down "Conquered the hell out of our assignment and the next ten assignments given, moving unstoppably onto the next"]

What's our weaknesses?

[thevoidsdarkhorse]

We don't know when to quit.

[Which, let's be honest, is our legit weakness for most of the team.]